🕊️ PRAY HERE Devotion 🕊️ The Wrong Relationships Can Ruin Your Life!
Scripture: Judges 16:4–5 (NIV)
Verse 4: Sometime later, Samson fell in love with a woman named Delilah, who lived in the Valley of Sorek.
Verse 5: The Philistine rulers approached Delilah and offered her a large amount of silver if she could discover the secret of Samson’s great strength and how they could overpower him.
(Scripture passage summarized from the NIV.)
Devotion:
True story!
There was a young man who was raised well. He was smart, happy, respectful, and had good manners.
But one day, he fell in love with a young lady who was completely different from him.
She came from a home where there seemed to be very little discipline. She was disrespectful, used profanity even when speaking to her own mother, and was accustomed to doing whatever she wanted without consequences.
Now, you would think that this well-mannered young man might have been a positive influence on her.
BUT THE EXACT OPPOSITE HAPPENED!
SHE INFLUENCED HIM!
Over time, that happy, respectful young man became disrespectful, unhappy, and almost unrecognizable from the person he had been before that relationship.
Eventually, after several years, the relationship ended.
BUT THE EFFECTS OF THAT RELATIONSHIP DIDN’T END WHEN THEY BROKE UP!
He was still different.
And I often wonder, WHAT COULD HIS LIFE HAVE LOOKED LIKE HAD HE CHOSEN SOMEONE WHO SHARED HIS VALUES?
Whewww! 😮💨
We don’t always give enough thought to the things that REALLY matter when choosing someone to be in a relationship with.
Especially when we’re young!
Sometimes we choose people because they’re attractive.
Because they make us laugh.
Because they’re popular.
Because they give us attention.
Because the chemistry is good.
Because we’re lonely.
Or simply because WE WANT WHO WE WANT!
And sometimes that young love is just plain CRAZY LOVE! 😩
It doesn’t make sense!
Everybody around us can see the problems, but we don’t want to hear it!
We’re not thinking about character, values, spiritual beliefs, self-control, or how this person handles conflict.
We’re just thinking about how much we like them!
BUT HAVE YOU EVER STOPPED TO THINK THAT THE PERSON YOU CHOOSE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH COULD ACTUALLY RUIN YOUR LIFE?
Or at the very least, set you back YEARS?
My, my, my!
ONE WRONG RELATIONSHIP CAN CHANGE THE ENTIRE DIRECTION OF YOUR LIFE!
And that’s exactly why we need to talk about Samson!
Let’s read today’s Scripture together.
In Judges chapter 16, we learn that Samson fell in love with a woman named Delilah.
Now, Samson wasn’t just an ordinary man.
He had been set apart for God before he was even born!
He was a Nazirite, and God had given him extraordinary strength to begin delivering Israel from the Philistines.
SAMSON HAD A CALLING ON HIS LIFE!
But Samson also had a history of allowing his desires to influence his decisions.
Earlier in Judges chapter 14, he wanted to marry a Philistine woman despite his parents’ concerns.
And now, in chapter 16, he’s in love with Delilah.
The Philistines were enemies of Israel, and their rulers were determined to bring Samson down.
So what did they do?
THEY WENT TO THE WOMAN HE LOVED!
OOOOOOEW WEEEEE! 😮💨
They offered Delilah money to discover the secret of Samson’s strength so they could overpower him!
THEY KNEW THEY COULDN’T EASILY DEFEAT SAMSON THROUGH HIS STRENGTH, SO THEY TARGETED HIS RELATIONSHIP!
MY, MY, MY! 👀🔥
And here’s what really gets me.
SAMSON WAS IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN WHO WAS WILLING TO SELL HIM OUT!
Whewww!
Now, I recently watched an awesome biblical movie on YouTube called Samson.
And while movies sometimes add details that aren’t in Scripture, the biblical account itself had me wanting to shout at the screen!
“SAMSON!!! NOOOOO, FRIEND! DON’T TRUST HER!” 😩😂
Because as I thought about everything that happened, I kept saying:
HE MISSED ALL OF THE RED FLAGS!
And I mean ALL OF THEM!
Let’s look at what Delilah did.
She asked Samson what made him so strong and how he could be tied up and subdued.
Now, that’s already a strange question to ask somebody you supposedly love!
WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW SOMEBODY CAN OVERPOWER ME? 👀
Samson gave her a false answer.
And what did she do?
She tried it!
Then she called out that the Philistines were upon him!
When that didn’t work, she asked him again.
He gave another false answer.
AND SHE TRIED THAT TOO!
Then she asked him AGAIN!
And AGAIN!
SAMSON! HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS WOMAN HAVE TO SHOW YOU WHO SHE IS BEFORE YOU BELIEVE HER?
OOOOOOEW WEEEEE! 😮💨🔥
SHE WASN’T EVEN HIDING THE FACT THAT SHE WAS TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO DEFEAT HIM!
And yet, Samson continued entertaining the relationship!
Why?
BECAUSE HE HAD BLINDERS ON!
He was so emotionally attached that he ignored what was happening right in front of him.
And isn’t that what happens to people today?
Somebody lies to you repeatedly.
You catch them being dishonest.
They disrespect you.
They manipulate you.
They isolate you from people who love you.
They interfere with your peace, your responsibilities, and even your relationship with God.
BUT YOU KEEP MAKING EXCUSES FOR THEM!
“They didn’t mean it.”
“They’re just going through something.”
“They had a rough childhood.”
“They really do love me.”
“They promised they’re going to change.”
HOW MANY TIMES ARE WE GOING TO EXCUSE WHAT WE SHOULD BE PAYING ATTENTION TO?
My, my, my!
Now, let me make something clear.
Having a different background, personality, or upbringing doesn’t automatically make someone a bad companion.
And people can grow, mature, and change.
BUT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SOMEONE WHO IS DIFFERENT FROM YOU AND SOMEONE WHO IS DESTRUCTIVE TO YOU!
That’s what we need to recognize!
Someone doesn’t have to be exactly like you to be a good partner.
But they should respect your values, your boundaries, your faith, and the direction you’re trying to go in life.
YOU CANNOT KEEP IGNORING SOMEBODY’S CHARACTER JUST BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEIR COMPANY!
Whewww! 🙌🏽
And let me ask you something.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU TRIED TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP WORK WITH SOMEBODY WHO WASN’T REALLY ALIGNED WITH THE PATH YOU WERE ON?
You’re trying to grow spiritually, but they’re constantly encouraging you to compromise.
You’re trying to become financially responsible, but they keep pulling you into unnecessary spending and debt.
You’re trying to live peacefully, but they’re always creating conflict.
You’re trying to become a better person, but the relationship keeps bringing out the worst in you!
AND YOU’RE EXHAUSTED FROM TRYING TO HOLD ON TO THE RELATIONSHIP WHILE ALSO TRYING TO HOLD ON TO THE PERSON YOU’RE BECOMING!
Lord have mercy! 🙏🏽
IT IS DIFFICULT TO STAY ON TRACK WHEN YOU’RE CONSTANTLY BEING PULLED IN ANOTHER DIRECTION BY SOMEONE YOU LOVE!
And sometimes we convince ourselves that if we just love them enough, they’ll eventually change.
But here’s something I want you to understand.
YOU CANNOT LOVE SOMEBODY INTO BECOMING THE PERSON THEY REFUSE TO BE!
You can encourage them.
You can pray for them.
You can be a positive example.
But you cannot make their decisions for them!
And you certainly shouldn’t have to destroy yourself trying to save a relationship.
Now, let’s go back to Samson.
Eventually, Delilah pressured him so persistently that he revealed the truth about his Nazirite dedication and his uncut hair.
Judges 16:19–20 tells us that while Samson slept, his hair was cut, and his strength left him.
When the Philistines came upon him, Samson thought he would escape as he had before.
BUT THIS TIME, THINGS WERE DIFFERENT!
He didn’t realize that the Lord had departed from him.
Whewww! 😮💨
HE HAD BECOME SO ACCUSTOMED TO GETTING AWAY WITH HIS CHOICES THAT HE DIDN’T RECOGNIZE HOW SERIOUS THE CONSEQUENCES HAD BECOME!
And look at what happened next.
The Philistines captured Samson.
They gouged out his eyes.
They bound him with bronze shackles.
And they forced him to grind grain in prison.
THE MAN WHO HAD BEEN GIVEN EXTRAORDINARY STRENGTH WAS NOW BLIND, BOUND, AND IMPRISONED!
MY, MY, MY! 😭
And here’s what makes this even more heartbreaking.
SAMSON’S EYES WERE PHYSICALLY TAKEN AFTER HE HAD SPENT SO MUCH TIME IGNORING WHAT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!
Whewww!
Now, don’t misunderstand me.
Delilah betrayed Samson, but Samson was also responsible for his own decisions.
He repeatedly ignored warnings and placed himself in danger.
WE CANNOT BLAME EVERY CONSEQUENCE ON THE PERSON WE CHOSE TO BE WITH!
Sometimes we have to acknowledge the red flags we saw and the decisions we made anyway.
And I want to bring this home today.
Not every wrong relationship will end as tragically as Samson’s.
But some relationships can cost people their peace.
Their financial stability.
Their friendships.
Their confidence.
Their opportunities.
Their emotional well-being.
And sometimes even their safety!
THE WRONG RELATIONSHIP CAN COST YOU MORE THAN YOU EVER IMAGINED!
And the consequences don’t always disappear when the relationship ends.
Some people leave unhealthy relationships carrying years of hurt, distrust, fear, and emotional wounds.
They struggle to recognize themselves.
They have difficulty trusting again.
They begin questioning their own judgment.
THAT RELATIONSHIP MAY BE OVER, BUT THEY’RE STILL DEALING WITH WHAT IT DID TO THEM!
And that’s why we have to stop treating the decision of who we allow into our lives as something small.
WHO YOU CONNECT YOUR LIFE TO MATTERS!
Proverbs 13:20 says:
“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” (KJV)
Whewww! 🙌🏽
The people we allow to influence us can affect our decisions, our behavior, and our future.
And love alone is not enough to make a relationship healthy.
LOVE WITHOUT RESPECT, HONESTY, TRUST, SELF-CONTROL, AND GOOD CHARACTER CAN LEAVE YOU IN A WORLD OF TROUBLE!
Now, here’s something else I want you to see.
SAMSON’S STORY DIDN’T END IN THAT PRISON!
In Judges 16:22, the Bible tells us that his hair began to grow again.
And later, Samson prayed to God for strength one more time.
God heard him, and Samson was able to strike a final blow against the Philistines, though he died in the process.
His story reminds us of the seriousness of our choices, but it also shows that failure doesn’t mean we are beyond calling on God.
AND SOMEBODY READING THIS TODAY NEEDS TO KNOW THAT YOUR BAD RELATIONSHIP DOESN’T HAVE TO DEFINE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
Maybe you ignored the red flags.
Maybe you stayed longer than you should have.
Maybe you allowed somebody to influence you in ways you now regret.
Maybe you’re still trying to recover from what happened.
BUT GOD CAN HELP YOU HEAL!
He can help you regain wisdom.
He can help you rebuild your confidence.
He can help you recognize unhealthy patterns.
And He can teach you how to make better decisions moving forward!
YOU DON’T HAVE TO KEEP REPEATING THE SAME RELATIONSHIP MISTAKES!
And please hear me.
If you’re in a relationship where someone is threatening, controlling, or abusing you, don’t confuse staying in danger with being faithful. Seek support and make a safe plan with people who can help you.
GOD DID NOT CALL YOU TO IGNORE DANGER IN ORDER TO PROVE THAT YOU LOVE SOMEBODY!
And for those who are single or considering a relationship, don’t allow loneliness, attraction, or desperation to make the decision for you.
STOP CHOOSING PEOPLE BASED ONLY ON HOW THEY MAKE YOU FEEL, AND START PAYING ATTENTION TO HOW THEY LIVE!
How do they treat people?
How do they handle being told no?
How do they respond when they’re angry?
Do they respect your boundaries?
Do their actions match their words?
Are they encouraging your growth or constantly interfering with it?
DON’T IGNORE WHAT YOU SEE JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE WHAT YOU FEEL!
OOOOOOEW WEEEEE! 🙌🏽🔥
And don’t forget this:
YOU CAN BE ANOINTED, GIFTED, INTELLIGENT, AND CALLED BY GOD AND STILL MAKE A TERRIBLE RELATIONSHIP DECISION!
Samson is proof of that!
Your gifts do not excuse poor judgment.
Your calling does not eliminate the need for wisdom.
And being a believer doesn’t mean you should ignore warning signs.
ASK GOD TO REMOVE THE BLINDERS BEFORE YOUR FEELINGS LEAD YOU SOMEWHERE YOU NEVER INTENDED TO GO!
Because sometimes the most important decision isn’t whether you love somebody.
IT’S WHETHER THAT RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHY, WISE, AND CONSISTENT WITH THE LIFE GOD IS CALLING YOU TO LIVE!
DON’T LET CRAZY LOVE COST YOU YOUR PEACE, YOUR PURPOSE, OR YOUR FUTURE! 🙌🏽🙏🏽💙
✍🏽 Reflect & Respond
Today, I want you to think about the relationships you’ve chosen and the influence they’ve had on your life.
Have I ever ignored obvious red flags because I was emotionally attached to someone?
Am I allowing a relationship to pull me away from my values, my peace, or my relationship with God?
Are there unhealthy patterns or emotional wounds from previous relationships that I still need to address?
And here’s the question I really want you to sit with:
AM I CHOOSING RELATIONSHIPS WITH WISDOM, OR AM I ALLOWING MY FEELINGS TO MAKE DECISIONS THAT COULD AFFECT MY FUTURE?
Don’t ignore the warning signs.
Don’t make excuses for repeated mistreatment.
And don’t allow fear of being alone to keep you in a relationship that is destroying your peace.
If you’ve been hurt by a previous relationship, take time to heal. Seek wise counsel and support where needed.
And before entering another relationship, ask God to help you recognize character, not just chemistry!
DON’T LET LOVE PUT BLINDERS OVER YOUR WISDOM!
🙏🏽 Prayer:
Heavenly Father, please remove every blinder that keeps me from recognizing unhealthy relationships and making wise decisions. Lord, help me stop allowing my emotions to lead me where Your wisdom is warning me not to go. Give me discernment concerning the people I allow into my life. Help me trust You when choosing a companion and never allow loneliness or desperation to make that decision for me. Father, heal me from the hurt, disappointment, and emotional wounds caused by previous relationships. Deliver me from unhealthy attachments and destructive patterns. Restore my peace, my confidence, and my ability to trust Your guidance. Help me choose relationships that encourage my growth and honor You. In Jesus Christ’s name, Amen. 🙏🏽💙
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